"I am anti-Winter Texan and proud of it. We have our own cartoons right here in town..." - A Harlingen residentBy JUNIOR BONNER
The Paz Files
HARLINGEN, Texas - I swear I saw one of those mobile homes in tow yesterday, up on N. 77, headed into town. It scared the Holy Valley outta me, and I ain't one to get skirred real easy, if you get muh drift. But these are horrible times in the Rio Grande Valley. Good people are unemployed from A-to-Z, even the healthy. Who will step-up when the bills are due, when the check arrives at the restaurant? Hey, it's looking like another round of the nasty Winter Blues around here.
They say Christmas will be a skimpy affair; one gift per person, and not an expensive one at that. $8 shirt from Mervyn's, that sort of cheap stuff. How has this entire region fallen so low? The churches are to blame, but so are the politicians. Both reek of putrid smells, aromas that come from lies and betrayals. A man can report to his woeful 9-to-5 job and think he's got the world licked, but when he returns home, it's the bouts of worry and depression that consume his nights.
What's the answer, Boys and Girls?
Do you simply let things fall where they may, as is the area's custom. Or will someone rise against the boredom and the poverty and strike out for the spectacular. It hasn't ever happened in the Valley, but short, stubby dreamers abound. They politick for less plastic bags at the grocery store. They annex and de-annex as if morons unable to comprehend the meaning of the word and the responsibility. They elect he same Ol' pudgy Mexicans for mayor and insist that downtown is another French Quarter. Ha! If only!
No, nothing ever helps the local mood. I drink Tequila to stay peacefully disoriented and I hear my neighbor, a well-hipped widow whose husband drowned in the Gulf of Mexico a year ago, has taken to going on long woods along the rural road where we live. Some say she goes out into the wild brush and takes off all her clothes. Talks to the mesquite and the gravel and the birds and the rabbits. I'll ask her about it one of these days, maybe when my girl, Cylantra, Queen of Honduras, leaves me and I'm forced to bed down a lonesome stranger.
Yes, sirree...who knows?
My editor said write a story about what can possibly save Harlingen from a stolen Christmas and I almost couldn't think about anything except that maybe Hellzapoppin' blogger Jerry Deal won't die between now and then. It could happen; he's - what? - almost 80? Jeepers, creepers, we're all aging like lazy buggers.
No, Deal won't mess-up the Christmas Season. He's too much of a go-along guy. I should send him a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue, the $200-a-bottle bottle, just to give him a shot at the Good Life before he calls for his last blogger comment. Annex or de-annex, he is asking. How about Live and Let Live! How about Work and Keep Working? How about just Stop Blabbering and Get The Fuck Outta the Way! Deal, my Man, why aren't you so pissed when it relates to the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings and how they bilk the city? Actors! Posers! Frauds! Charlatans and clowns!
Okay, okay, lighten up, Junior. Drink that black coffee, son.
Who will save Harlingen's Christmas?
Those oft-hated Winter Texans, that's who...
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31 comments:
Martinez-Paz, why isn't someone editing Bonner's writings, aint, outta, common, I have a feeling it is Cylantra writing about Harlingen, unless Bonner was drunk. Fire the cheapskate. Just tell him, you are fired.
Damn, someone better teach Jr. Bonner how to express himself. He is not speaking to truck drivers, at the local stops.
Agree with Jr. Bonner, winter birds, when do we begin the hunt. Of course Jr. drunk, he might shoot himself.
ANON:...Writer Junior Bonner is a Western Dude, completely at ease with his lingo. It may sound wrong or stupid to you, but, in his world, that's how people talk... - Editor
I wager to say Jr. Bonner, is about 80 years old. Why is he picking on Jerry Deal's age.
Mr. Editor, Cylantra was holding to Jr. Bonner this morning at las casuelas, like a teen ager, I will admit, she is younger than him. Quiere que le arregle el passport, I hear she is illegal.
Politik, ain't, outta, skirred, and what is hellapoppin??
Damn, that sounds like the queen of godzilla, Sara Palin.
Any relationship to Jr. Bonner, they sound alike.
JERRY DEAL looks a lot like JR. Bonner. Wel, sorta. Bonner looks like he can drink Deal under the table and has had more women. Could Deal handle Cylantra? I say no.
Jerry Deal couldn't carry Junior Bonner's lunch pail. Bonner's been around and lived the hard life. Deal is all air-conditioning, too sheltered. I'd take Bonner on my side ina bar fight.
Common Debrooke Shields, Bonner is a bum, everybody knows it, Bonner drinks at the American Legion, Deal drinks at Baloos.
But don't forget, Jr. Bonner got his ass kicked for messing around with a pimp's woman. And he ran from the fight, instead of taking the punk head on, on a free for all fist fight.
Jerry, is to old and frail to mess around with Jr.Bonner.
By the way, Cylantra is way to hot to handle by Jr., she must be in her early 40's JR. Bonner is around 70, or close to 80.
I bet Jr. Bonner, takes Cialis, to handle Cylantra, she is short and fat and wears glasses, drop by las casuelas around 8:45, am and you will see the old goat and the short woman. Jr. wears a gray hat or a black big hat. They always sits on a both, like if he was hiding from someone.
And she pays for the food, what a bummer.
Amanda Knox is guilty as sin, why is it that Americans get their rears in problems overseas, and then want everyone to feel sorry for their deeds. She should stay in Jail.
Christie did the right thing, let the GOP water itself in it's juices. Perry is not going to win, the Pizza god father, Mr. Cain is. but he will not beat Obama. He just won't.
Harlingen is beyond repair, puro dollar generals, someone in Santa Rosa said, "we are the capital of the dollar stores."
Deal can handle his booze. Jr. looks like trouble all the way around. DeBrooke Shields may be right that Bonner would be better than Deal in a bar brawl. But you never know with old Anglo geezers
Bonner seems to be pissed at harlingen. That's all. It's not Deal he is messing with really. But deal has ben boring lately and he's always begging for comments. Bonner wouldn't do that.
Deal, has a bunch of women blogger's, no one knows why, but he does.
Deal allows those women to throw punches, to whomever, they so desire.
Bonner, has Cylantra from Honduras, Bonner paid a coyote to swimmed her accross the Rio Grande, not only that, but cylantra flirts when Jr. Bonner is not watching.
Le gusta el borlote, a la chaparra.
If they got into it, I think Bonner would break Jerry Deal's back. Bonner looks mean. Deal is more a grandpa kinda guy. Just saying
Those jokers in Harlingen go crazy on the little ssues and ignore the big ones. they don't have the smarts to figure it out.
All winter texans do is get in the way. Don't need them. always at the store and crowing the parking lots with their vehicles. Don't need them. they make me feel old.
Winter Texans, or snow birds are always looking for a deal or discount. They come here, to live of the hispanics. Pinches viejos barateros.
Truthfully, I am tired of the infighting at city hall in HGN. Man, there has to be something good going in Harlingen. Okay, I am being sarcastic.
Harlingen has no idea how to get out of its hole. it's getting deeper, people.
Jr. Bonner looks weather beaten, all the damn cheap tequila, and of course that Cylantra must be wearing him out.
Wait, wait just one minute, Jr. Bonner is a winter Texan, he hails from the state of Ohio. And he lives in a mobile home, eats a cheap restaraunts, and lets a woman pay for him.
Jr. Bonner is a Snow Bird, a cheap one to.
The word around Combes is that some old anglo guy wants to run for commissioner, is it possible Jr. Bonner wants to get involved in city goverment. Jr. Bonner, the cheap bum, married to a woman from Honduras. Does he even know how to vote, he looks dumb as hell.
Jerry deal is now boring. Same crap on that blog, same bloggers. nothing new.
Anon: Jerry Deal boring, try reading chapas blog, news briefs 3 comments in 48 hours.
He is being an a%$%#$&le, because Deal is supporting de-annexation, he is hypocrite on turns on a dime, as does Juan el Tamalon, Ortega. Chapa supported all 3 commissioners, when they ran for the position.
Hey, Buttin, I agree, but Deal could make his blog more interesting by being more of a newsman and not an advocate. He takes sides, like Chapa. IS HE BETTER? Not if he takes sides.
Anon, I agree, Jerry, should write objective articles. Well he is 79 years old. Give the geezer a break. But I do agree, he hangs out with an anti-city group.
El Buttinskiii
Jr. Bonner for Mayor of Harlingen, and Cylantra for city secretary.
Ron Mexico for Commissioner, and Elliot Elcommedor for Fire/Police chief.
Excuse me, Cylantra can't wear dress short skirts, she is too short and fat.
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