The Electric Slide

By DUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ
The Paz Files

AUSTIN, Texas - It's getting to where every day brings a new and wilder revelation in the Rick Perry presidential campaign. Today, the 61-year-old Aggie battled a report that had him and his family hunting on property whose main gate flashed the worst of American racial slurs: Niggerhead.

Then word came out that Perry had aided mortgage companies wishing to come to Texas and rip-off Texans, this in exchange for contributions to his pocket. It's been one lousy Country Rick & The Fishcrap episode after another, beginning with his threat to lead the state out of the union, to being proud of killing criminals, to calling the federal social security system a "Ponzi scheme," to bailing on immigration.

So, we ask, what's next?

Here's what's next: Perry will acknowledge that he is Gay.

Or he will admit to being a mule for the Mexican drug cartels.

Or he will break down and say he cheated on his wife, Anita, with the Mexican maid. Or he will be forced to say there is Negro blood in his family.

Let's see, what else pisses-off Republicans?

Oh, okay, Rick Perry will be found to have written vicious anti-Ronald Reagan notes to his pals and, later, anti-George Herbert Walker Bush letters when he was state campaign manager for Democrat Al Gore in the late-1980s.

Or, he will have once told a college buddy that he thought Nancy Reagan looked like a small-tittied, old hag just back from the ranch hands' bunkhouse, back and looking happy...

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