By JUNIOR BONNERThe Paz Files
PRIMERA, Texas - Hog prices went up here the other day. And pig futures held their own against stiff competition from neighboring Mexico, while the price of corn and wheat rallied a bit against Canadian crops. According to the influential commodities market in Chicago, all was well in the farm world except for what recently happened here: the chief of police was nabbed sexting photos of naked "she-males," women with male genitals, to another man.
Joe Rodriguez said he was fooling around, thinking he was sending the photos via his cell phone to his cousin, an unnamed apparent sexual acrobat. The chief told story-hungry reporters that he sent them to local Constable Robert Lopez by mistake. It is the story of the week in this poor, backward community along the scurrilous Mexican border, where few have time for jokes.
At a gas station here, a fajita-faced customer had nothing good to say about the chief.
"Nothing," he went on. "Not a damned thing, other than that he should resign and go get some psychiatric help. What can his mother be thinking now!"
Rodriguez is still on the job today, even as Major League Baseball opens its playoff games. Rumors have it the city commission wants to sit Rodriguez down and read him the Riot Act; that, plus they want to know why in the Hell he was using city equipment to get his Internet jollies. And couldn't he at least have sent them to a woman. That angle is playing long and loud in this part of Macho Country. No one in this town wants a Gay chief of police. Not yet, anyway.
"Is he going for Pendejo of The Year," said the police chief of a neighboring town. "I'd lock his fat ass in my jail without batting an eye. Sexting? Are you kidding me? Since when are she-males popular with Valley men?"
To his credit, Rodriguez has been overly-apologetic, although it should be noted that proof of his telephonic perversion is unmistakable. They have the chief by the balls, in other words. His balls.
Sex in the Valley always has had a sort of dramatic danger associated with it. Adultery is king and it is practiced as if taking grounders at the local ballfield. Men proudly claim doing it, and, lately, women have begun to make the pages of area newspapers in similar escapades. It is said that sexting, the forwarding of erotic photographs via cellphones, is on the rise, especially in Brownsville downriver, where such photos have taken the place of business cards.
Chief Rodriguez, a portly, mustachioed Mexican-American, may simply be atop the initial wave of the trend, at the forefront of the Next Big Thing here. He isn't smiling in photos taken by the press, but he isn't crying, either...
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[EDITOR'S NOTE:...Writer Junior Bonner resides in Combes, which is a stone's throw northeast of Primera. Bonner says he thinks he saw Primera Chief Joe Rodriguez fingering his cellphone while parked off the main road leading into town...]
13 comments:
Exelent article. That chief needs to be canned. But he'll get away with it. watch.
McHale is right about the soldiers and dying in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's dying for nothing. Good column by jerry.
LOL! Primera is some tiny hellhole. Who cares about those clowns? I expect this sort of stuff from these uneducated rurals. But it is a funny article!
I think the police chief from PRimera was an officer in some police force. San Benny, I think and they can his ass for something very similiar, the Primera council needs to get rid of the bum, hooked up in Porno.
a lot of valley cops are into porno. everybody knows it. they get bored.
Police officer's that are hooked on porno shouldn't be on a police dept. they prosecute people for prostitution, and they are watching naked men and women.
I believe the Primera police chief, was an officer in the San Benito school district, that is frighting.
Rick Perry is not going to be president, he is just kidding himself.
The Valley if full of obese men and women, hooked on porno. Este Valley no tiene futuro. It is as someone said before, it is comatosed. Half-dead
Junior Bonner hits it on the nail. Our cops are losers. Many of them didn't even graduate from high school!
Paz-Martinez:, Please fire Jr. Bonner immidiately.
Here is a man who talks about police officer's bad habits.
When Bonner womanizes, visit's prostitution bordellos in Mexico, and Amsterdam. Drink's cheap beer untill he is stone drunk. And get's his ass kicked in England for screwing round with a pimp's woman.
Common Bonner, you cheapskate, I saw the short dark complected woman pay for your breakfast at Las Casuelas. You are just like the cops.
Always trying to get a discount special, at the local eateries. Or expect someone to buy you breakfast, what a fink, you have turned out to be.
Mr. Editor, Jr. Bonner was probably with the Primera Chief of Police looking at Porno on the cell phone.
Jr. is just as cheap and rotten as some keystone cops.
The Primera Chief of Police has lawyered up, sorry Jr... you won't get an interview, wait, are you sure you and the chief of police aren't buddies? Both of you wear hats.
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