By DUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ
The Paz Files
AUSTIN, Texas - From time to time, perhaps to gauge the intelligence of our readers, we like to float a little test to do with the country's issues-of-the-day. We don't expect anyone to ace it, but there have been times when some brain has popped-in to score the maximum. Here, then, is this week's brain exercise.
1.) The name of Mexico's president is:
a. Felipe Alou
b. Juan Cortinas
c. Felipe Calderon
d. Moises Alou
2.) Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's religion is:
a. Catholic
b. Rastafarian
c. Mormon
d. Protestant
3.) Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann's sister is:
a. Missing in Aruba
b. Gay
c. Married to Pat Buchanan
d. In a foreign prison
4.) London is presently battling:
a. A Beatles reunion
b. Riots
c. Release of a Keith Richards album
d. A bad teeth epidemic
5.) The editor of this web site hates:
a. Minor league baseball
b. Tacos
c. Sex
d. Golf
6.) Which of the following is a falling town:
a. Carmel, California
b. Brownsville, Texas
c. Aspen, Colorado
d. Park City, Utah
7.) How long does it take Earth to circle the sun?
a. One day
b. 365 days/366 during a Leap Year
c. It'll never make it all the way around
d. 10 years
8.) Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?
a. The Unknown Soldier
b. Lou Grant
c. U.S. Grant
d. No one. It's a sham.
9.) Wh0 sang Midnight At The Oasis?
a. B.W. Stevenson
b. Maria Shriver
c. Maria Muldaur
d. Petula Clark
10.) Mark Sanford, the married ex-Governor of South Carolina, had a torrid sexual affair with:
a. Laura Bush
b. Kay Bailey Hutchinson
c. An Argentine bombshell
d. Elizabeth Dole
As always, 7 correct answers gets you a passing score. Good luck, kiddoes! (Update 5:10 p.m., Editor's Note: The answers are in bold/italics.)
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6 comments:
8 out of 10 here. For sure. Felipe Alou? ha ha ha. Post the answers.
I just wanted to say that Rick perry is a raving lunatic. Completely disconnected from reality. What have we come to that we're seriously talking about this whacko as a candidate for president? I'm pretty sure we've never had anyone this crazy on a major party ticket. And that's including Barry Goldwater.
You better pray nobody ever recognizes your sorry flabby ass walking down 14th street while at "work".
ANON:...I don't have a flabby ass, and I do, from time to time, walk your 14th Street in Brownsville. For now, however, I'm staying in shape in the Austin area, where I am fast becoming a "known figure" to the many, many pleasant locals who have taken me for just another nice guy, which I am... - Editor
question 7 stumped me. What's the answer to that one?
Yeah, question 7 got me too but I got all the others. Outer space never interested me, I feel like we've got so many people walking around earth that look goofy enough to be from outer space, why go there? Speaking of Rick Perry, what's with that weird grin on his face in the shoot-m-up picture. No wonder the coyote didn't run off before Perry shot him. He was probably stunned by disbelief. Personally I think one of Perry's bodyguards probably shot it and Perry thought it would be good for his gunslinger image. And finally to anon who thinks the editor has a "sorry, flabby ass", I can assure you from personal experience that you are terribly incorrect on both counts and it sounds like you got up on the wrong side of the ditch this morning.
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