"From the rocking of the cradleto the rolling of the hearse
the going up was worth the coming down..."
- Kristofferson, The Pilgrim
By JUNIOR BONNER
The Paz Files
COMBES, Texas - What ah hears in town 'bout me is no great shakes. I always take a shine to a good rumor, lak I do to a bar full of good weemin. Ah think you know what ahm sayin' at you, you Internet sodbusters. Yeah, ahm doin' okay. Fiddlin' muhself to sleep, drinkin' a bit and, sho'nuff, wonderin' where old Cylantra went. That woman was mighty fine about this time of the day. Ya know, when the day's almost done and the sunset is right 'bout appearin' in the western sky, over toward Borneo. Ah enjoyed muh Cylantra, yep.
But it's a new day, son. Got muhself a new set of wheels, that black beauty you see under the title of this hear Blog. Yessireeee, that's an El Camino - the damned ride of champeeens. Ya hear me! Not jes 'nybody owns a car lak that baby, no, sir. Ah got it from a guy who used to act in Hollywood movies, dude ah met in New Mexico when ah tried breakin' into cowboy movies. Man's name is Norman Tom, a real jumpy fella who said he wuz gettin' too old for that car and needed one of those Gay SUVs. Those veeeeeee-hicles ain't for men. SUV's for weemin! A man needs a real set of wheels. Standard, like my El Camino.
Got it for 13 Big Ones, and that was a steal! Lookit. Look at it, boys! Why, it makes my heart cry jes lookin' at it. Drivin' it is one pointed boot joy, if ya knows what ahm sayin' at you.
Plus, ah also got a new mobile home. Thar it is in the picture above my name on this here story. Beaut, ain't it? Comes 'quipped with lin-o-leum floor and a sink in tha kitchen big 'nuff for a family. Got me cold and hot water, a shower that's sorta small, but I can lean over to rinse muh face. No biggie. Ah had worse in the Army back in '68, man. Sheeeeeeeeee-it, ya kiddin; me, son? Only thang make it better'n what ah got is for Cylantra ta join me in a bath. But lak I said ah don't know where she is. Heard in the bars in Harlingen that she'd run-off with some other hombre, a thin Mexikan with a white belt da same color as his boots. If she's 'round, ah'll spot her. Ah know that woman's smell and iffa she's in da same grocery store ahm in, well, ah'll know it. A man gets close to a woman he loves. Cylantra was muh sun and muh moon.
Ah know, ah know. Ah failed her. Ah tangled with another woman and she had all the rat to kick muh ass out into the alley. She did that, didn't she? Ha ha ha.
In any case, ahm bar-hoppin' again, so ah'll see you Batos in town.
Ammo shuffle on down to the conveeeeenience store and buy me a pouch of that Bugler...
- 30 -
10 comments:
Bonner is being sued! Wow! how will he pay? oh, i know. Von Bulow will hav ethis Elizondo guy killed. of course.
just saw McHale'column on myharlingennews.blogspot.com. I thought he was published here. Que paso?
that Cowboy cat sueing Junior looks like a mean MOFO. watch out, Junior. Se ve que es malo, ese vato!
Junior, chylantra works at el Cizne Bar in Harlingen, she has the 9 pm to 2 am in evening shift. I have seen her dancing with all kinds of smelly Mexican men, drinking booze.
Common Alcatraz, Junior's writing improves and declines, why did you approve this chicken scratching. Send Jr. to middle school to learn how to spell.
It's how the editor knows when Jr. is drunk. that's when his writing declines.
Junior, when are you ever going to grow up and realize you're already a senior? Get yourself a rocking chair and an old dog that looks like you and stop chasing women that are too fast for you to catch.
Junior Bonner is young at heart, I say he drinks Viagra, to keep up with the young gals, like brother Jonesy, who admitted, he buys cialis in progreso.
Chylantra has moved on, it is true, she is hanging out at el Cisne bar. A real dump, right up her alley, give her up, Jr. she doesn't want you anymore.
If that mean looking Mexican gets a hold of Bonner, Bonner is history.
Those guys fight with Machetes, and Junior is no match for an angry wolf. You asked for it Jr., was the lady with the red blouse worth it, I don't think so.
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