"Took a drag from my last cigarette,took a drink from a glass of old wine..."
- Neil Diamond, I Am, I Said
By HANDS VELA
Special to The Paz Files
BROWNSVILE, Texas - The curious case of Rudolf Von Bulow took a wild and wicked turn toward the far-strange today, when the woman who accused him of rape stunned reporters gathered outside the Bora Bora nightclub by saying she is pregnant.
"I am pretty sure I am carrying LaCandrelle Jefferson's baby," she said during a bizarre press conference called by her attorney, Rene "The Plump Partridge" Oliveira, in an effort to get ahead of the scandalous development. "I met Mr. Von Bulow through LaCandrelle, who I met through Jerry McHale one night last month at another hip Brownsville bar."
The development threw the Von Bulow case into uncharted territory, and a woman working for his defense team quickly said lawyers representing the writer will most certainly call Jefferson to the witness stand. "We'll want to know how soon after they met...they, ah, had sex," she went on during a brief cellphone chit-chat with this writer. "This is fast becoming a ridiculous soap opera case with every passing day."
Ms. Herrera, a 23-year-old junior college student, insisted, however, that she still believes Von Bulow raped her following a long night of partying in a variety of South Padre Island bars. The rape, she again noted, took place in his high-rise condo, an assault she has described as being perverted and overly-brutal in nature. "My baby is not part of the story," she said on several occasions during the sidewalk press conference. "LaCandrelle has said he will take care of us."
Jefferson is the Sports Editor for The Paz Files.
Reached at his apartment in Harlingen, Jefferson begged-off requests for comments, but confirmed having a relationship with Ms. Herrera. "The Von Bulow thing blew me away, mon," he said. "I mean, bro, I work with the dude. All I know is that if the facts fit, you can't acquit. You know what I'm sayin'?"
Jefferson said Ms. Herrera, a spitfire of a looker, may be about six weeks pregnant, a timeline that coincides with his arrival in Brownsville from a previous job for a newspaper in Jamaica. He would not speak about the scope or seriousness of the relatonship, saying only that he'll pretty much have to wait and see about things after the Von Bulow case is resolved.
"That crazy town she lives in is a living witchcraft web," he explained. "I'm sayin' she's a pretty girl and all. You know what I'm sayin'? She's got it going all over the place. I ain't blind, you know."
He explained that Ms. Herrera had vigorously disdained use of contraceptives during their lovemaking and had at various points insisted that he consummate the act in the traditional matrimonial manner. "You axe me and I'll tell you no man, No Man!, woulda not done it," he threw out, his deep, bass voice booming at the end of every sentence. "You axe me if I'm complainin' and I'll say no, no, I ain't! She's the queen-ass booty of the Valley, mon."
The explosive development, however, changes nothing in her case against Von Bulow. And although her attorney declined to make a comment, citing a stomach ache, Ms. Herrera, smiled openly for the covey of photographers in attendance, including one from Jet Magazine, which had a reporter present while he worked on a profile of Jefferson, who is a former college football star in his native Alabama.
"I have no idea where this fits into our story," the lanky, high-throated Jet reporter said. "But they do say there is no literature without sex, so..."
Von Bulow's spokesman, Klaus Von Nostrand, said he was shocked by the news.
"This could be good, or this could be bad," he said. "But you can quote me as saying that Mr. Jefferson will definitely be called to the stand...
- 30 -
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Reporter Hands Vela is a Brownsville free-lance writer. Wishing to remain objective in the face of their staffer's legal problems, Paz Files editors decided to turn over coverage of this story to a freelancer. Hands Vela has written for several publications, including Sports Illustrated and Successful Farmer magazine...]
12 comments:
Good grief, Luisita, pero que cuerpaso tienes, pinche VonBulow, in prison they will deal with you.
LaCandrelle Jefferson is a punk, what is he doing with the hot chick in pink. LaCandrelle, I played football at Texas A&I, take a hike, go back to jamaica and sell "aguas frescas" in the street. You don't belong with the Hispanic race.
Story of the year! What will happen to Rudolph? What will happen to Louise? And to LaCandrelle?
Thank goodness she is not saying the baby is mine.
I unequivocally deny the baby is mine.
LaCandrelle is a fake and a phony, there is no way, that woman made it with him, unless he paid for it.
I saw a man who resembles LaCandrelle eating tacos at a taqueria at B st. and West Tyler in Harlingen at around 11:30 pm last night.
He ordered one dozen of chicken tacos, corn tortillas with lattuce and tomatos and heavy on the Onions. He also ordered 4 dozens of Tamales, waiting for him was a man that resembles, Juan Ortega el tamalero, what friends for Candrelle.
You fired Lacandrelle for saying a few words? Look at all Junior Bonner did! Von Bulow wasn't fired either. what gives? is it because Jefferson is Black?
Jimmy, LaCandrelle was hanging out with Juan el Tamalero Ortega, friend of Tony Chapa.
He deserves to be fired. Now the editor, has to get Junior Bonner out of the Valley.
If Louise is the woman in pink, I will take her in a jiffy. By the way, we waited for Rudolf to appear at Las Casuelas this morning, but the coward didn't showed up.
I was prepared to defend Louise Honor, si, si mi amor.
I heard La Candrelle was in the US illegally and ICE was closing down on him. Is he wanted in Jamaica, on a rape charge. That was the rumor at El Cielo Lindo Rest. in Harlingen.
Firing LaCandrelle is justice. Louise was going nowhere with that guy. Now she has a baby to support. Where's Juan Montoya? Is he gving lessons to LaCandrelle?
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