LaCandrelle's Secret Life...

"You want one rib?
Well, honey, here's
yore one rib..."
- Marquita Washington, in Email

By HANDS VELA
The Paz Files

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Shortly before he was fired late last week, former Paz Files Sports Editor LaCandrelle Jefferson received an email from a woman he hadn't seen in several weeks, his angry wife. Marquita Washington was telling him she'd just heard about his sexual escapades with Louise Herrera of Brownsville, the same Louise Herrera who now has accused writer Rudolf Von Bulow of raping her following a night of drinking at several South Padre Island nightclubs.

"You in trouble, boy," she began in the Internet mail.

And LaCandrelle Jefferson, indeed, was in trouble. Marquita Washington was promising to fly down to the Rio Grande Valley from her home in Georgia for one and one reason only, to perform surgery on his manhood. Or, as she put it in the email: "You done sumpin God-awful with that thing of yores, LaCandrelle. Awful as awful can be. This bitch be mad!"

At that very moment, Jefferson was driving back to his apartment in his red & white Mini Cooper after being fired for glibly discussing his sexual affair with Ms. Herrera in a news story. As someone who knew someone who knew him put it, LaCandrelle was beating feet for his crib so that he could pack and vanish. Marquita Washington also did something women enjoy doing - she had emailed him a photo of herself in the nude (see photo above) and added the caption, "This booty's gonna go partying. Ain't no man able to say no to this booty! Uh-uh, nobody!"

Jefferson has not been seen or heard from since the day of his firing. Authorities here, however, say they have not received any info related to his going missing, and there is no way of knowing if Marquita Washington even made it to Harlingen. Police did inform Louise Herrera of the threat made against Jefferson, a man she says is the father of her unborn baby.

"Just a precaution," said a portly detective who declined to give his name.

A cursory review of police records in the Atlanta area revealed several incidents involving Ms. Washington, including several burglaries, a credit card scam, and theft of mail charges to do with a variety of welfare checks she had cashed illegally. One report had it that she also filled her car with gasoline and then sped-off without paying, later calling the gas station's evening staff to say she'd be back to pay when she had the money. Another said she had viciously assaulted two women at a black club in Atlanta after the women accused her of flirting with their boyfriends. According to a police report, one of those women was treated for severe nail-scratchings to her face, while the second one said Marquita had stolen her purse and swung it over her head, emptying its contents across the bar's floor. Bar employees said they'd never seen so many condoms come of out of a woman's purse.

"By the looks of her, I'd say this particular lady is not one you'd want to antagonize," said another detective. "We have an officer at the airport on the lookout for her. Hey, I know. I know. He is carrying that naked picture of her, but it's the only one we have. Hopefully, she'll be dressed provocatively, if she does fly-in."

The woman apparently was married to Jefferson, although it is not known if that was a legal union or merely a 1960s-style shack-up. The email was signed, Yo Mama...

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