By JUNIOR BONNERThe Paz Files
BROWNSVILLE, Texas - My current old lady is a young chick of twenty-six from Honduras, a spitfire of a woman with a sexy overbite who just can't get enough of anything. Anything, I tell you! She shops til she drops, buying tight jeans mostly. She eats and eats, Mexican food up the wazoo. And she can drink like any Port Isabel shrimper worth his weight in gold. Party? She's there in a flash. But what I like about her is that she loves me - this crazy, old, skinny cowboy from Combes.
I am a lucky guy.
But, then, brown-skinned women have always come easy for me. There was Maria from Harlingen, a daughter of the devil who would make love to me like a panther, but also cuss me out when I wasn't up to it. Hey, I'm 68 and not a bad lover, only I can't just get it busy without a little time to get into it. You know what I mean? Maybe not. Latin guys can get it up even when pumping gasoline or waiting in line at the post office. That's what I hear anyway. Who knows? My other galpal, Rosanna, once told me her ex-husband would get a hard-on in church, especially after taking the sacrament with that drink of wine.
So, anyway, as most of you who read my stuff here and previously at The Tribune, I was in Europe all of this past summer, just traipsing about and getting a nip here and there from those Scandinavian babes. They are lovely birdies, but nothing compared to my little Rio Grande Valley chicanitas. These women here know the score. Too much make-up and short shorts. They lap up to you to get what they want and then they can tell you to go to Hell without it meaning anydamnedthing at all. I do wish that Adam had run-up against a Latina in the Garden of Eden. Then, perhaps things would have gone differently for his lousy planet.
My girlfriend, Cilantra De la Torre, is here illegally. But I don't care. She's mine and that's that. Uncle Sam can go screw himself. Romance knows no borders; love knows no laws. Yeah, baby, what has Brown done for you? Ha ha ha.
I'm going out for some supplies later to day, to get stuff I need to re-do the mobile home's bathroom. Cilantra wants a bigger bathtub, one big enough for the two of us. Those short, stubby thighs just mesmerize me in the shower. I have to bend down, but I want to. You'd have to have a shot at her to understand. I'm not being a pervert here, just telling it like it is. She's my world and I don't give a damn about Rick Perry or about the mayor of Brownsville or about some suck-ass, amateur-hour annexation showdown in boring Harlingen. Small potatoes, as Dan Quayle would say about here.
I'm back in the Valley and, this time, I'm here solely for my Brown women.
Pass it on, Mamon...
- 30 -
[Editor's Note: ...Writer Junior Bonner will eventually get down to the business of manning our Brownsville News Bureau. He just wanted to re-introduce himself with this piece...]
19 comments:
Junior Bonner rules! welcome back, dude. Now let him write about Harlingen!
Bonner is covering Brownsville? Jerry McHale will corrupt him. WAIT, no they are two of a kind!
Mr. Editor, better teach Jr. Bonner how to write. He writes like the little short women he messes around with.
God forbid, he starts hanging around with the alcoholic Jerry McHale. All that dude does is hang out at the cheap joints. Like Juan Montoya, who drinks at La 1-2-3 club.
Somebody was saying, they saw JR. with some short stocky super tanned woman eating at America's rest. on West Tyler.
Is it possible, the rumor is they were holding hands. Damn, she is one brave woman, he looks like he is ready to kick the bucket.
Jr. Bonner, probably takes 50 mgs. of Viagra, he is to old to handle that short woman with robing eyes. Jr. I hate to say this, "but Cilantra, brinka la cerca." Yessirrr, she was giving the eye to several dudes at breakfast this morning, and smiling at the waiter.
Dude, black hats are out of fashion.
ALL:...We noticed this was not Junior's best writing, but he told us he was hungover from drinking at a bar called La Medussa in Harlingen. He promises better stories next week... - Editor
I'm okay with Bonner's writing. But it's true that he'll get his ass shot if he messes with a Mexican's woman. take that to the bank, Junior!
junior bonner does eat in Harlingen. i've seen that man in the picture. He has a young hispanic womam with him all the time.
The photo shows Junior bonner with his dry cleaning? Uh, something's weird. A cowboy walking back from a dry cleaners? That dude is weird!
Anyone writes better than Chapa and his boyfriend Juan Ortega. Those creeps write horrible.
We will give Jr. Bonner a break, since hungovers make you feel horrible.
Jr. and his chick were eating Guevos Ranchero, with corn tortillas and lots of pico de Gallo at America's Rest. Hey, the dude was drinking the coffee black, he must have dranked all night. Is true he also eats at las Cazuelas? I am keeping my camera handy.
Damn, Jr, you are living with an illegal, that Cilantra sure likes to wear cheap jewelry, Bonner,quit being a cheap skate. I know she is from Honduras, but the nickel and dime store, is not the place for jewelry.
Mr. Editor, you could smell the cheap perfume she was wearing at Americas rest. They are the odd couple, for lack of better words.
Mr. Editor, the Medussa bar is too fancy for Bonner. He probably drinks at Pappys on the Arroyo on South Palm Blvd.. I don't think they would allow him at Medussas, him with that ugly hat, and some overweight short woman, overly tanned woman with jeans 2 size smaller than her size.
She looks like Juan Ortega. But seriously, I seen these two at America's restaraunt several times.
Common you guys, that dude was shot in the back, when some husband caught him messing around with his woman in England. I bet the sleaze paid someone to say he was shot and killed.
The tall skinney guy at las casuelas, sure looks like him. But I have seen him with different women from South of the border. I think his name is Vic, he might have change it if he is on the runn. Specially, if he messes around with married woman, Cylantra is her name, and she is one ugly broad.
I see Bonner with Mchale all the time at The Palm Lounge in Brownsville. Bonner does have a short stock Mexican woman with him all the time. McHale is always interviewing this guy, like he's doing a story on him or something. The Palm was made for those two!
El Jessee, is probably right, the skinney dude jumps around, well, soooo, those that Cylantro and tomate woman.
At Americas's she kept touching the waiter's arm. I think she wanted action.
The palms in Browntown, I will check it out. Damn thos places are dumps. Well they are good for Bonner and McHale.
I eat at Las Casuealas and I better not see that sleazy cowboy, looking at my woman. I will slap him silly. He will wish, he was getting a beating back in England.
Jr. Bonner, is wearing a Texas map on his belt buckle, I thought he was originally from Ohio.
Oh, I forgot he lives in Combes Texas, damn that is one ugly run down town. The right fit, for Jr.
Surprise, Jr. Bonner even dresses up, he looks like some of the homeless in Harlingen.
That dicey cowboy, looks like a truck driver, who frequents a truck stop between Houston and Victoria. Yea, he looks like the tramp, can you believe the guy, he still drives the old Mack trucks with a dog in the hood. Faded red, I think he hauls caliche.
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