Sunday, March 18, 2012

Jr. Bonner Dies (1968-2012)...

"Write it down what you've found out, songwriter
Don't let it all slip away
Speak your mind all the time, songwriter
Someone is listening today..."
- Willie Nelson, Songwriter

By DUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ
The Paz Files

HARLINGEN, Texas - Doctors at the local hospital here pronounced Paz Files writer Junior Bonner dead at 5:45 p.m. on Saturday, hours after he suffered a massive heart attack at his doublewide trailer home in nearby Combes. Bonner was 44.

"He fought like a sumbitch, but his heart just gave out," said cardiologist Dr. Henry Lafontaine Aguilar. "Most men die instantly when they suffer as much damage as Junior suffered. You could say he worked that heart for all it was worth. We were trying to save a heart that, to us, was the heart of a 78-year-old man. Mr. Bonner got all he could get out of his."

According to Harlingen bar waitress Inez Jeantete, who was with him in Combes when Bonner first grabbed at his chest, the two were "in the middle of some aggressive, but beautiful lovemaking," something the doctors say may have contributed to his demise. Bonner, Ms. Jeantete told story-hungry reporters gathered outside the Emergency Room, had been cutting down a pair of craggy mesquite trees in the property's backyard when she arrived at his home on her day off. "He said he was glad to see me, dropped the axe and directed me to the bedroom inside the trailer home," she noted between sobbings. "We were doing fine and then he gasped in pain and I freaked out. I mean, I was nude and I'd never had a man die on me in bed."

Bonner is survived by a brother, Elmer, who resides in Pueblo, Colorado and is a known figure in the national rodeo circuit. According to hospital officials, Junior Bonner's body was on its way to the morgue for preparations ahead of a trip west.

Paz Files readers first got a taste of his writing when they found it on The Brownsville Herald-Tribune website, where he regaled them with stories about drinking, womanizing and general partying. Bonner, however, was fired for drinking alcohol while covering a Harlingen City Commission meeting last year. He then moved to Amsterdam and became the object of a cult following when word moved across the Atlantic that he had been viciously murdered in the city's Red Light district. He later returned to the Valley, where he took up with an El Salvadoran spitfire by the name of Cylantra De La Torre. His latest escapade involved another waitress, Ruby Archuleta, a married woman whose husband threatened to knife Bonner.

"Junior Bonner was a singular talent," said Brownsville Blogger Jerry McHale. "He was the kind of person officials wish to jail at first sight. He lived his life as if every woman he met was sent down for him. And you didn't have to be a raving beauty for Junior. No, sir, he found some beauty in every woman. His kind come around only once in a lifetime."

STIJA, the South Texas Independent Journalists Association, will soon begin bestowing The Junior Bonner Award, McHale added. "It will go to the border blogger who chases the green light, who isn't afraid of anyGoddamnbody, who best personifies our style of unapologetic journalism," he said. "That was always Junior Bonner rat there, as he would've said."

Editors at The Paz Files said the website would "go black" on Monday in tribute to the passing of a loyal staffer...

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13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ruby's husband poisoned him, he probably laced the Viagra with poison. I know he did, he was fuming over Ruby's and Bonner's affair.

Epifanio Ortega el tamalito said...

Bonner is faking his death. He is afraid of Ruby's husband. Who sweared to cut Bonner with a 24 inch machete. Bonner is doing well, don't let him fool you.

Anonymous said...

Bonner man-up, you are hiding from Ruby Archuleta's husband, andale cabron. Te gustan las casadas.

Juan said...

Working for The Paz Files is more hazardous to a person’s health than taking up smoking, doing drugs, driving drunk or having unprotected sex. Sooner or later all of your reporters are murdered or die an early death. I might be time to call the Center for Disease Control, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, the FBI, or the X-Files to look into this cluster of bizarre deaths.

LeBrown James said...

Hail Junior Bonner! And piss on Tony the Turd Chapa. I only wish Junior had kicked Chapa's dwarf ass. Somebody should .

Anonymous said...

Chapa is a turd. Loooks like one, too. ha ha ha

Cable Guy said...

RIP Junior Bonner! You lived a hard short life, dude.

El Sargento said...

Tony Chapa is a dog's turd, a Chihuahua's mojon. ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

Tony Chapa doesn't have any more bloggers, other than Juan Ortega, some dumb hicked called him out, and he ran like a dog with his tail between his legs.

Isidro, The Real One said...

Chapa just comes out to attack the excellent editor of this blog cause he wants attenion. he is a worthless coward. Ignore him. Everybody is treating him like the diseased dog of the barrio. ha ha ha

Juan said...

Death is neither a stranger nor a friend, but rather life’s constant and patient companion.

El Primo said...

I hear Junior Bonner was seeing making a move on a waitress at Mi Ranchito. No se le quita lo P*&*o.

Blogger M said...

Chapa needs to be careful what he says about Junior because even considering that Junior had his own peculiar way of talking and writing, even after dying (twice) he is still capable of better writing than Chapa. Junior may be more recently deceased than Chapa's blog (which has been dead a long, long time) but Junior is never going to smell as bad as that blog no matter how long he is dead. Another thing Chapa might consider (if he is capable of any such deep thought) is that Junior may come back and haunt him. I'd like to see Chapa go running to the cops and ask for protection against a dead guy who keeps coming back and smacking him. Late at night, Chapa, when it's totally dark (not only because you're hiding under your wife's skirts but because it's really late) and you hear a sound like a ghostly cowboy wearing spurs on his boots and he's coming for you...well you better run Chapa, and I don't mean further under the bed. He'll still be able to follow you, mostly due to the obvious trail of pee you leave behind you. Run, little Tony, run.